Of course, use of any underarm techniques on the orgy pitch – even amongst fully-consenting dairymaids – is often pooh-poohed by the cognoscenti as being in poor form, especially when the custard is introduced from the pavilion end just in time to immerse the assistant librarian before the banana is peeled.
Now, those of you familiar with the way that an inter-village orgy develops in the closing minutes of a tight match; or even those of you who have engaged in in-depth study of the photographs or videos of such a match will – in all probability – be wondering about the use of the cabbage. This is often the case, especially if the postmistress has been caught by the rear fondlers in an offside trap, just as she was about to apply the raspberry jelly to the inner thighs of the wicketkeeper.
However, to those of us more used to the casual and informal nature of the village hall orgy, such technical breaches of what is sometimes regarded as the spirit of the game are not to be taken too seriously. That is of course, unless it is the opposing team that are engaging in such underhand tactics, in which case they should be booted out of the cup and the league forthwith without having any recourse to an appeal.