Monday, September 13, 2010

Season of Mellow Orgies and Perversions

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Now that autumn is upon us, it seems that the weather will be turning against having the open-air village orgies out on the village green in the evenings. It is therefore time to turn over a new leaf, especially when certain ladies of the village incorporate leaves into their costumes for the Annual Little Frigging Village Hall Fancy Undress Autumn Orgy.

Costumes made of leaves have always proved popular at this event, including the time that our local blacksmith Strom Thighhammer had to use the gigantic leaf from the vicar’s prize rhubarb in order to cover all eventualities. Even then after several of the village ladies had taken it upon themselves to check that the stalk had been removed from the leaf, often in quite an interesting and interrogative manner. This soon gathered a large and appreciative audience, while the ladies themselves confessed that they themselves were very appreciative of Strom’s largesse.

Of course, there is often much more to these events than even Strom’s rather substantial contribution. After all the year’s crop of cider apples need to be pressed and, involving all the denizens of the village and a large barrel of apples is a sure way to get past those awkward introductory moments of the first orgy of a new season. Although, by the end of it the apples are more than well pressed and a bumper cider production year is almost guaranteed.

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