Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Hairstylists And Shopping

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The day begins early in the morning for the hairstylist breeder with preparing the hangover cures for the hairstylists and mucking out the discarded underwear from the hairstylist sheds, unless that is the hairstylists have been for what is known in these parts as ‘anightonthetown’. In which case, there will be little or no discarded underwear to clear up, as the minimal underwear that is traditionally worn on such excursions is swapped by the hairstylists with the young men of the town in return for ‘a damned good seeing-to’.

Once the hairstylists have been rounded up into a herd, and any stragglers gathered from where they may have collapsed on any point along the road between the town and the hairstylist sheds then they will have to go on the first of their essential shopping trips to any nearby town centre or out of town retail experience. Just as cows need milking a few times every day, hairstylists will need to go shopping, without the release of shopping the amount of money they possess to lead to what vets call, ‘a severely swollen purse’. Although, through the judicious application of their bills, a vet can quite often reduce the swelling in the purse quite considerably, it is best that it is not allowed to get into the swollen state through the use of regular shopping to keep the purse from swelling and causing severe discomfort to the hairstylist.

Some hairstylist breeders have experimented with the use of online shopping, or even the building of shopping emporia within the hairstylist sheds themselves, but these are early days and no hard and firm data has been gathered to say whether these are as good for keeping the hairstylist purses from over-swelling. However, I – for one – feel that the regular exercise of the visit to the shops, even though it can be somewhat of a chore to the breeder and his herders, does help keep the hairstylists in good condition both physically and… er… mentally. Therefore, unless there is strong evidence to the contrary I intend to continue with the practice.

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