Friday, October 29, 2010

Professional Naughty Ladies

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You may – at times – feel that you are clutching the sexual-arousal spanners of inadequacy too tightly to your fevered* breast at times, when you see the antics of the professional naughty-doings persons portrayed upon you TV or computer screen. However, it should be born in mind that those who engage in professional pornographic endeavours are not – by necessity – of the same proportions or of the same, or similar to us, in our amateur enthusiasm for the delights of the naughty, the moist, and, yes, the perverse.

No doubt someone as familiar as my reader (and her friend) with the highways and byways of these interwebnets is no doubt used to seeing, say, one of the professional naughty ladies in all her elaborately over-frontaged splendour resplendent in a wallaby grouting apron and spats about to entertain a brace of young gentlemen. Furthermore, it is often the case that both of the aforementioned gentlemen are seemingly endowed with appendages that would make a telegraph pole feel inadequate. All three of which then, without explanation or preamble, engage in a moistly energetic and gymnastically strenuous workout, may seem – on the face of it – something we should all aspire towards, if we wish to reach the peak of naughtiness that is surely our birthright as freeborn persons of a perverse nature.

But, hold (and squeeze gently), be not downhearted (or if a more normally-appendaged gentleman – downcast) by these displays. We should not feel inadequate or inferior; we should not even compare ourselves to the professionals. After all, can we not enjoy a kick-about without comparing ourselves to premiership players, or go for a drive without possessing a supercar? Just be proud of what you have got and wield it with all the dexterity and expertise you can muster**, and treat your dalliance partner(s) with care, respect and take pleasure in their debauched moistness – that is all you need to do.

 

*Or feathered breast if you are of the avian persuasion.

**Please read carefully. I will not hold myself (a-hem) responsible for anyone who tries to weld themselves with mustard.

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