Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Perversions Re-Birthing Ritual


As couples get older sometimes it seems as though the lady’s melons are not quite as firm and juicy as they once were, or perhaps the gentleman may find his plums growing wrinkled and shrivelled. If so then maybe the couple should consider taking part in a Perversion Re-Birthing Ritual in order to perk up themselves and become proudly upstanding and freely swinging perverteers once more.

If a couple, or more, wish to go through a Perversion Re-Birthing Ritual, they must both first dress up in their ideal fetish gear of choice. Such things as a vicar, a supply geography teacher, an ordinance survey assistant mapmaker, a fireman or cakes shop manageress and so forth.

The putative re-birthers must, once suitably bedecked, make their way down the village High Street towards the village hall. First, they must – of course – visit the village pub The Pervert’s Appendage for the full immersive experience of ‘Taking the ale’. Only when they have sampled as many ales and ciders as they can manage (or closing time, whichever is the sooner), they then must visiting each Take-Away in the village and order their personal favourite meal from each one. All through the ceremony, they will be encouraged by the re-birthing fetish mistress ‘to feel at one with their perversions’ and to have a damn good feel of each other’s oneness too.

Once inside the Village Hall the ceremony of the re-birthing nice cup of tea and selection of cream cakes will follow, along with the Holy chanting of ‘nice weather for the time of year, considering….’ before the spiritual rubbing down with the Holy unguents takes place and the ceremonial assistant librarian takes them both in hand in turn. She will then take them over to the dildo rail where they can pick their devices of choice before being led towards a selection of fresh fruit and then onto the traditional ceremonial re-birthing all-village orgy.

Afterwards, it is guaranteed (not legally-binding) that they will once again feel at one with themselves, their perversions of choice and their partner(s) and once more be ready to face the world and its tribulations with a uplifted heart once again.

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