Friday, November 5, 2010

Sausages

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"Shall I get the sausages out?"

"No. I'm not in the mood today."

"Oh…."

"Don't look at me that way. I'm just not in the mood. Anyway, I'd tired of being splashed with hot fat. You ought to try standing next to frying sausages when you're naked. See how you like it."

"I'm sorry… I never realised."

"No. I don't think you ever did, did you?"

"No. No, I didn't. But you never said, either. I used to look forward to the sausage game, though. I thought you enjoyed it too."

"Oh, I did. I did. Back in the early days, I did. I thought I'd tried every possible sexual deviation, that is, until I met you. I never realised you could do that with sausages and just one adjustable spanner. And I never, ever, thought it could be so… so… intensely erotic. But… well, I suppose you can get used to anything, after a while. It just doesn't have that… that thrill, anymore. I no longer get that charge of excitement you get from doing something so wild, so perverse, from doing something that would shock and outrage almost every person who heard about it."

"Oh, right. So, do you fancy just an ordinary shag, then?"

"What? Oh… okay then. I'll get the mountain goat lubricated, then, shall I?"

"Yes, please."

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