Monday, February 14, 2011

Hot Strumpets on Wheels

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With government spending cuts impending, voices of concern have been raised in the village about what will happen to our village ‘Hot Strumpets on Wheels’ service. This has been a vital community service in Little Frigging for many years, and many of us – whatever the financial circumstances – would hate to see it withdrawn too early, as we all know how disappointing that can be.

The Hot Strumpet service is dedicated to bringing the best of the village hall orgy to those villagers too remote, and/or too incapacitated to make it to the village hall for our mid-week, or weekend, village orgies.

It all began when some of the village ladies noticed that there was an outlying lumberjack camp out by the big wood, where many burly lumberjacks had only each other for company and only had their choppers to hand to amuse themselves with.

Immediately, several of the more public-spirited of the Little Frigging ladies, led by my own dear wife, Maureen – who has always been very outgoing when it comes to offering herself to those seemingly in need – decided that the lumberjacks would appreciate a visit by some hot strumpets such as themselves.

In the week, or so, they were gone, many of us others in the village realised what a valuable service these ladies could provide to some of those more isolated by geography or circumstance, such as those lumberjacks.

Consequently, after several very long meetings in the snug of The Pervert’s Appendage, those of us who could remember why we were there, decided to set up the ‘Hot Strumpets on Wheels service’ where we could get our women folk out of our hair for a whi… er… provide a much needed social servicing to those in need.

It has proved very popular, especially, for example, when the village amateur rugby team goes on tour, the Hot Strumpets on Wheels van will be not far behind the team coach, making sure that the players get all the comforts of home, especially in the team bath directly after the match.

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