Thursday, March 17, 2011

The Little Frigging Women’s Institute for Perversions

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Of course, the Little Frigging Women’s Institute for Perversions runs many successful courses and talks to keep the ladies of the village up to date with all the latest in perversions, deviations, fetishes, jam recipes and knitting patterns.

Only last week they had a – by all accounts – fascinating hands-on demonstration on the best way to disrobe a fireman with the full assistance of our own village volunteer fireman (and blacksmith) Strom Thighhammer. The ladies present at the lecture said they were all very grateful to Strom for the way he let them all have hands-on experience with his hose and admired him for the firmness of his standing as they did so.

Of course, disrobing the fireman is just the beginning, and the rest of the evening was taken up with a practical exploration of their various jam recipes and a discussion about which was the best flavour to lick off a recumbent fireman. The evening ended with the general consensus emerging that gooseberry jam is ideal for a fireman, while someone like Grand Uncle Stagnant could probably do with something of a stronger flavour, possibly raspberry. That is if you can prise him away from his dairymaids for long enough to apply the jam in the first place.

However, some of the women wondered if a plumber would be better with freshly baked scones, or maybe if he would be more suited to pancakes and a heavy syrup. Therefore, this talk and practical demonstration has been pencilled in for next week’s topic.

So, ladies, be there early to get a good seat at the front, and don’t forget to bring your own tin of golden syrup.

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