Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Sex Spatulas and the Canteen Manageress

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In most village hall weekend orgy situations, it is always best to be cautious when approaching a canteen manageress (Welsh or otherwise) with your sex spatulas at the ‘ready’ position, without first making sure she has her ladle ready, especially if you have an interest in sampling the contents of her tureen.

As we know, the canteen manageress is very experienced in the use of the spatulas. Sex spatulas when wielded by her or one of her canteen assistants, especially when emerging from the larder… quite possibly with her melons in her hands in readiness, are quite a stirring sight for anyone adept in the perverse arts and sciences.

Once you have your canteen manageress well in hand, it is then advisable, especially in the warmer weather, to first liberally* flour your work surface to prevent either of you sticking to the surface, especially when some firm kneading is required.

By then your meringue peaks shod be firm enough and her baps warm and ready for your filling.

In many ways, the canteen manageress is very similar to the cake shop manageress; both are women of a certain natural authority and experience and are best left to gentleman of a similar level of experience. This is especially true, as a callow youth who lacks experience, but tries to make up for that with an excess of youthful vigour could find that it only results in severe damage to the integrity of his hot sausage roll.

*or conservatively, if you prefer. For those of a more left-wing persuasion, by the time you have filled in the Diversity Outreach Quota form, taken the Ethical Awareness Test and made sure that you are complying with all the Equality in the Village Hall Orgy directives, your canteen manageress will have given up and gone home with a plumber instead.

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