Thursday, June 30, 2011

Amateur Fingerings, Strokings and Oral Virtuosity


Amateur chamber music making has had quite a following in many of our rural villages, and – of course – Little Frigging is no exception, as those of you fortunate enough to see the ladies of Little Frigging performing on the trouser flute or he pink oboe will undoubtedly attest. Not only that when our post mistress, Labia Entanglements, gets her cello out and begins to caress and stroke the instrument between her thighs, most men in the audience, and quite a few of the ladies too, are soon overcome.

Even when Strom Thighhammer gets his horn out there are – usually within seconds – many ladies from the audience eager to get up on stage to join him in a threesome or quartet, or sometimes even more, with some of those ladies already stroking and tuning their violas in readiness as they prepare to mount the stage.

Although, not being one to blow my own trumpet, especially when there are so many dairymaids in the village capable of giving virtuoso displays on my instrument, I must say that the outpourings such talented ladies can get even from an instrument as humble as my own, just go to show that the rural villages of this great land often contain so many talented people who modestly like to keep their light under a bushel, at least until they can be brought out on the stage of the village hall for us all to sit back and admire their accomplishments.

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