Thursday, June 16, 2011

The Art of Fannying About


Of course, it goes without saying that during an all-village orgy it is vital that the gentlemen attending (and those ladies who find such things engaging) do their utmost to ensure that there is more than enough fannying about undertaken to make sure that the female attendees get as much as they can from the experience.

Obviously, the younger a man (and/or woman) learns about the arts of fannying about the more in demand they will be at any all village orgy, either in the village hall or out on the village green during the more clement seasons of the year.

I myself was instructed in the theoretical aspects of the art by – of course – Grand Uncle Stagnant a man who has forgotten more about fannying about* than any other living** human.

After that, of course, Grand Uncle Stagnant introduced me to a brace of Little Frigging’s more experienced dairymaids for the practical lessons. Lessons of such thoroughness that I had to be carried – barely conscious - back down from the hayloft where the dairymaids tutored me.

It took me over a week to recover from that intensive study, even under the gentle administering hands of the – then – Little Frigging cake shop manageress, Patty Kake, before I was able to stand again without her helping hand.

However, such was the intensive nature of the period of study under, next too and on top of those two highly-experienced dairymaids that I never – ever – forgot the essentials of fannying about even under the most intense pressure of a competitive inter-village orgy cup match, and for that I will always be grateful to those dairymaids.


*Not only that he has – seemingly – forgotten more than anyone else about everything, including where he was last wearing his trousers.

** I say ‘living’ somewhat advisedly.

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