Friday, June 17, 2011

Further Erotic Uses of Fruit

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Of course, a gentleman should always make sure he is keeping a firm grasp on his orgy dalliance partner’s melons, or even her pomegranate should the situation arise*. A gentleman in good standing too should find it not unreasonable to expect that his dalliance partner too should enjoy handling his plums and express herself more than pleased with the firmness of his banana.

We have touched upon – after, of course, washing our hands first - fruit and its exotic possibilities before. However, the subject is far from exhausted - and for those of us blessed with an imagination that has not been stultified by the banality of modern popular culture - could even be limitless.

For who can honestly say that they have even exhausted the erotic possibilities of the fig, even in the somewhat cramped and limited elbow-room of the village hall orgy, let alone utilised a punnet of strawberries to its limit in an open-air dalliance. This is especially the case when in the presence of a cake shop manageress willing to disport her scones for the delectation of all and sundry, and – especially – keen that all the gentlemen there present inundate her proffered scones with all the fresh cream they can muster between them.

 

*And if – unfortunately – the situation does not arise you should offer fulsome apologies to the lady and formally enquire if there is some other way you can be of service to her in order to bring her the satisfaction that is so deservedly hers.

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