Tuesday, June 28, 2011

In More Mature Hands


Of course, it goes without saying – but as usual I fully intend to say it anyway – that although the ladies of Little Frigging are always keen to offer – at least - a helping hand to any fine upstanding young man they happen to meet when going about their daily business, many of them are more than keen to come to the assistance of those of us of more mature years. That is up to and including Grand Uncle Stagnant, who despite his advanced years* has a wealth of perverted orgiasic experience he is always more than eager to pass on to any lady he can get his hands on, and quite a few he can't quite reach without the aid of his walking stick.

All-in-all there is a lot to be said for the man of experience, and quite a bit that can be said while waiting for him to get around to giving a lady his full attention. Although, once up and running – as it were – a gentleman of a more mature cast of mind is often quite capable of still being upstanding at the end of the weekly village orgy when those of a supposedly more youthful vigour have collapsed and fallen under the robust attentions of, say, a canteen manageress or post mistress.



*Recently some scientists have attempted to carbon date Grand Uncle Stagnant to discover just how old he actually is, but several decades worth of pipe ash in his turn-ups has resulted in some wildly divergent figures, putting the age of Grand Uncle Stagnant as somewhere between 6 months and slightly older than Stonehenge**.

**Although, admittedly Stonehenge has weathered somewhat better than Grand Uncle Stagnant, especially around the blue stones.

Post a Comment