Thursday, June 9, 2011

Inter-Village Orgy Matches and Injuries

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Injuries out on the orgy pitch can – of course – sometimes be quite a problem. It is not just a matter of the dread itchy knee, which – by its very nature – makes continuing in a full competitive inter-village somewhat problematical, there are other – sometimes equally debilitating – injuries that can seriously affect your inter-village orgy squad team.

As with any orgiastical event there is always the danger of errant elbows and knees, especially when – in a competitive orgy – the gravy starts to flow freely. Then there is the danger – if a free fondle is awarded by the match official - of twisting an ankle should the defender’s flippers slip on the excess salad oil that is usually applied during the free fondle.

It is always a good idea for your orgy team to get into the habit of wearing shin pads and orgy mittens in order to reduce the chance of injury when out on the field. Orgy mittens are especially useful, not only to avoid injury, but also if the players are trying to keep a firm grasp on their sex spatulas, especially in a scrum, or if engaged in a quick ruck near the sidelines.

Not only that there is also the danger of a nasty peck to the exposed flesh should someone unnecessarily startle the chicken, so it is always best to make sure that every member of the team also wears a hat.

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