Wednesday, June 15, 2011

On Keeping the Sellotape in Hand

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Of course, when you have the sellotape in one hand and a cake shop manageress – suitably oiled and seasoned – in the other, it is not always obvious whether to let go of one or the other in order to take your sex spatulas from your sex utensil drawer. This is especially the case when it is early on in the village orgy when the cake shop manageress is bound (if you are fortunate) to be in high demand.

However, those of us well-experienced in such matters will always prefer to keep our hands on the sellotape as the roll has a rather unfortunate tendency to roll away if incautiously put down on the village hall floor even for a moment. It can mean that several of the vital first few minutes of the village hall orgy are lost while you search for the errant roll of sellotape underneath the assistant librarians. After all, we all know how diverting it can get when searching assistant librarians for errant stationery supplies can be, especially if you – like I – once lost an entire pad of post-it notes underneath an assistant librarian when going about your in-depth researches.

After all, it is during those first few minutes of the that makes the ladies present observe that you are a member in good standing and therefore worthy of their further perusal, providing their orgy card has not already filled with the details of other male members there presenting themselves for the delectation of the ladies. Consequently, you could find yourself losing out to those other male attendees, thus leaving you as the only one left upstanding and alone before even the first tea break of the orgy.

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