Well, here we go… possibly.
It has – I realise now – been a very long time since we last discussed essential sex-weasel grommet adjustment. Consequently, I think it could be an even longer time still before we discuss them again.
I see from the way you have adopted the stance of an over-loquacious Local Government Tadpole Outreach Coordinator, that you may be wishing to tap my rather – if I d say so myself – rather extensive knowledge of the mating habits of hairstylists during the mating period known colloquially as ‘A Night Out On The Town’.
However, I feel there is little more of a theoretical nature I can add to what I have already given you in various articles published here. I’m afraid you are just going to have to gird you loins and prepare yourself for a practical lesson.
Of course, not for one moment do I expect you to partake of the copious quantities of alcohol consumed by the average hairstylist during this ritual – you are after all - if I remember my biology correctly – only human.
You will, though, need to take just enough alcohol to insulate you remaining brain cells against the overwhelming inanity of the hairstylists’ conversations as the evening progresses. Once they have exhausted the perennial hairstylist topic of holidays – taken, about to be taken, putative destinations and so on, then I’m afraid there is a strong chance that the conversation will either turn to the goings on in current TV programmes of which you will only be dimly aware. The only other topic of conversation will most likely be antics of alleged ‘celebrities’ about whom you will be probably even less knowledgeable.
Well, if you do – as you say – suddenly remember you are busy on that night then we will have no choice but to leave the matter of our little excursion in abeyance until some other time.