Monday, July 11, 2011

Taking Strom Thighhammer's Hose in Hand


I may have mentioned before that on the one hot day of the English summer it is customary for Strom Thighhammer, our village volunteer fireman, to get his hose out in case any ladies of the village get overcome in the heat. Of course, if any of the ladies do find themselves out and about during that one hot day of the typical English summer and they espy Strom Thighhammer striding in their direction with his hose out and ready in his hand, then those ladies who feel hot will often take the precaution of lying down wherever they find themselves. Then Strom can use his hose on the ladies, even though they are not yet quite overcome.

Strom will always, of course, do his best to assuage any lady who feels herself hot and ready to be overcome, but it has been known for Strom himself to wilt in the heat and for his hose to dry up, especially if he has been in great demand by the ladies of the village.

If such a – thankfully, very rare - situation does occur, then the rest of us in he village volunteer fire service are ready to be pressed into service at a moment’s notice and are more than willing to get our own hoses out to help dampen down any ladies who find themselves feeling hot and ready for a damn good hosing.

Therefore if you happen to visit Little Frigging on the hot day of summer, please do not be too concerned to see the ladies of the village leading the volunteer fire service off into the bushes for a thorough damping down.

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