Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The Erogenous Zone


There is nothing left to say. I will leave the half-open jar of badger spleen oil here on the shelf just above the dildo rail and place my brace of sex spatulas on the shelf in readiness. If I should need the assistant librarian, she is oiled and ready and the well-polished restraining straps shine in the light from the street lamp.

It is a tense moment before any episode of the UK's new hit TV series, MasterPervert, especially when it gets to these the final rounds. However, I do feel confident that my chosen perversion: Crouching traffic warden, Bewildered moor-hen will be strong enough, even against the stiff competition*

Anyway,there is little anyone can do in these final moments except try to clear the mind and to enter that vital zone.

The mind must be clear and the body loose and supple as you try to get into the right frame of mind to enter the erogenous zone. The erogenous zone is the place where a pervert of good standing (and my standing now is very good indeed) will try to become one with his and/or her perversion of choice. One should always be ready to enter the zone, preparedness – known to the cognoscenti as 'foreplay' - is essential to prepare both yourself and the erogenous zone for your entry into it.

Too soon and the zone is not ready to receive you, too late and the moment will be lost, she may already have entered the tricky point in her knitting where any attempt to enter her erogenous zone will result in her dropping a stitch, or even force her to cast off in the middle of a row and that way only disaster lies.


*And I did check in the Green Room earlier and the competition - each one of them – were all stiff in the usual places, except the local politician of course. However, she was getting her research assistant to polish her mandate, so I presume by now the necessary stiffness has been achieved.

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