Thursday, October 20, 2011

On the Insertion of a Surreptitious Weasel


There has been much debate of late, especially in the snug of The Pervert's Appendage about the best way to instigate the insertion of a surreptitious weasel into the scrum during a deadlocked Inter-Village Orgy League match. Obviously, some form of finesse is necessary in order to introduce the weasel without giving away a free fondle, especially if your goalkeeper has left her box wide open.

Of course, the sudden insertion of a surreptitious weasel into the proceedings was first tried – with great success – during one of the more tedious political debates* in the House of Lords just prior to WWI, when the first Sea Lord had his promulgation perverted by the introduction of the surreptitious weasel by the opposing party.

However, the use of the surreptitious weasel has been a long tradition in the long – and usually quite firm – history of the inter-Village Orgy match. However, with the International form of the Inter-Village Orgy, there was some initial reluctance by some foreign countries to allow the use of the weasel, with Germany being the obvious example.

However, once the German's were allowed the use of sauerkraut and sausages during a free fondle (providing no substitution had taken place), the use of the surreptitious weasel became widely accepted in the game, especially when the goal-botherer was under pressure from the opposition inside-outside wing forward backs at silly mid-on.


*Yes, I'm afraid it is true, it is indeed possible to have some political debates that are even more tedious than the others, even though this does seem to conflict with Einstein's General Theory of Tedium, which states that the universe is always an inherently interesting place, especially when you have mislaid your car keys.

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