Wednesday, November 2, 2011

With a Nip in the Air

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As the one day of the English summer fades into memory, the notion of open-air perversions begins to lose some of its appeal. Except, of course, for those perversions that employ woolly mittens, a flask of hot tomato soup or a Cornish pastie*, we begin to turn our minds and any nearby canteen manageress to the thought of more indoor-based perversions.

Of course, for some of the more rigorous indoor perversions, especially those that incorporate either the stepladder or the pogo-stick it is vital to make sure there is enough headroom in the village orgy hall. For, as all gentlemen of good standing know, what a disappointment it is not to be able to get any head room due to lack of space. It is also vital to make sure that any access to the downstairs areas is not impeded in any way just in case the lady of your current dalliance needs you to go down for her.

In such cases, the gentleman should make sure that he is equipped with a hard hat, if in doubt it is advisable to ask someone with the requisite expertise, such as a post-mistress if she feels your helmet is capable of withstanding the rigours of the occasion.

 

*Or, as in the case of the Gentleman’s Highway Stand and Deliver perversion – all three.

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