Of course, most people in Little Frigging have, for a long time now, kept their mobile phones in a place about their person where they will feel the full effects of its vibrational properties whenever they receive a call or a text.
However, with the new breeds of smartphone available the number of apps available for them has done much to add a new dimension to the perverted arts and sciences experience of the individual user.
For example, the WMW (WaterMelonWhereabouts) app is able to pinpoint within less that 20 yards the nearest person with the app who has a ripe watermelon on or about their person and is looking for a like-minded partner wishing to share it. The same applies to the Weasel_Finder app. This app is another boon to those who need to find the whereabouts of a compatible weasel, often at a moment’s notice.
There is also an English Village Hall app, which is ideal for those who do a lot of travelling and are wondering if there is an All-Comers Village Orgy in their near vicinity on any particular day.
There is also – at least according to Grand Uncle Stagnant – an app that teaches the neophyte the best way to place a sheep’s hind legs in one’s wellies for that perfect romantic night out in a summer meadow.
These are just a pointer to what is available with many new apps appearing on the market every day, all designed for today’s tech-savvy perverteer.