Friday, February 24, 2012

On Having a Man's Pointer

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At times of tribulation and trepidation, many of the ladies of Little Frigging have found relief from their difficulties by receiving a pointer from Grand Uncle Stagnant. It takes a gentleman of his outstanding achievement to help a lady overcome her vicissitudes and to enable her to have both a spring in her step and to feel herself on top of things again.

A gentleman of experience – and some of Grand Uncle Stagnant’s experiences would even embarrass a member of parliament – is always a great aid and comfort to any lady who finds herself unable to achieve any satisfaction in her life, especially when her gentleman acquaintances prove unable to come up to the mark and thus leave her unfulfilled and bereft.

Of course, at such times as these many ladies prefer to turn for a helping hand, or some mouthings of comfort, from their lady friends. I – for one – am not one to pooh-pooh such informal arrangements, especially if they are tempted to record their entanglements for posterity and for those of us who take a connoisseur’s interest in such close encounters of the female kind.

However, Grand Uncle Stagnant is always more than willing to put himself in the hands of any lady who feels that her current shortcoming can only be resolved by having a man’s pointer assist her towards rectifying the lack of satiation in her life.

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