Right, I presume all the ladies gathered here to peruse my organ are intimately acquainted with the erotic possibilities of the leek, or for the dessert course the stick of rhubarb.
Of course, it goes without saying that the leek will need some cheese sauce and the rhubarb is incomplete without custard, but I’m sure that anyone with an interest in the erotic will already have both of these close at hand. Although, I would suggest that their containers be clearly labelled. After all no-one in their right mind, or even Old Feebletrousers – would want to have, say, an assistant librarian on the very cusp of achieving satisfaction only to destroy the mood completely by pouring cheese sauce over her rhubarb.
There are many, of course, who like to experiment on the further shores of the erotic possibilities of the erotic arts and sciences, but I would suggest that rhubarb and cheese sauce is a step too far – as for leek and custard…. Well, I wouldn’t be surprised if it led to questions in the Houses of Parliament, and -even accounting for the odd sexual proclivities of MPs, I doubt if one of those questions would be ‘Oooh, can I have a go?’
Well… most MPs….
Well… one or two MPs.
So, there you have it, and if you wouldn’t mind stroking it gently, we’ll see about waiting to see which of the matters arising comes to the top of the agenda for us to peruse next time.