Monday, March 19, 2012

Spreading a Man’s Seed


Once the days of spring bring about a slight touch of warmth to the rains of the English countryside, the thoughts of many a man turn – quite naturally – to the planting of his seed.

Even if he only has a smallholding, a man will want to spread his seed as far and wide as possible.

Obviously, once the spring arrives, the ladies of Little Frigging are always willing to help a man distribute his seed and will often help by making a receptive furrow for him, even if they have to struggle to achieve a good fit with his smallholding.

There are a number of men, and Little Frigging seems to contain a good many of them, who – on the other hand – have quite an impressive acreage and thus require the assistance of many of the Ladies of Little Frigging to ensure that their furrows are well filled with his seed.

There are even some – such as Grand Uncle Stagnant who have so much seed to spread around that he needs the assistance of a brace of dairymaids – with their milk jugs in the ‘ready’ or receiving position – in order to manage his copious outpourings of springtime seed.

So, if there are any lady admirers of my organ who fancy a weekend of good ploughing, or feel they could help a gentleman from Little Frigging to distribute his seed more widely, then they know when and where they can come.

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