Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Inter-Village Orgies for the Newcomer


For some new to the sport the tactical ebb and flow of a Inter-Village Orgy match can sometimes be bewildering, especially at the speeds the game is played at the higher levels.

Sometimes, it takes many matches, possibly even a season or more for a spectator to fully appreciate why the chicken is suddenly bewildered, or why the umpire gets blown for what seems like a perfectly legal underarm free-fondle in the opposition’s lower half.

The newcomer (please bring your own tissues) to watching an Inter-Village competitive orgy, especially in the Premiership (Sponsored by Splodge & Sons - Purveyors of Marital and Sexual aids to the gentry since 1789)) can often be confused by the use of the punt from the rear, especially when the first quarter of the second third of the first half is in injury time, perhaps due to an outbreak of itchy knee due to overuse of the flankers down the wings (this is one of the main reasons for the chicken to become bewildered as it didn’t know that its possible to do that with its wings).

However, after coming the first few times, most neophyte spectators always seem to come again and again for there is nothing quite as invigorating as seeing a champion scorer, such as our own Strom Thighhammer giving his all to the opposition’s defenders as he takes them by surprise from the rear to score a multiple orgasm in the dying seconds of the final quarter of the third half to propel his team to victory, leaving the opposition exhausted and often just as bewildered as the chicken.

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