Saturday, February 16, 2013

Sex Spatula Precautions

Of course, it is always advisable to make sure the reversing lights on your bespoke sex spatulas are not illuminated when approaching – say – an assistant librarian from the rear during the most intense quarter of a village hall weekly orgy, unless you sustain any damage to your sex spatulas. Sex spatulas, by their very nature, can be very delicate instruments and can be knocked out of true by any untoward activity that places unusual stresses upon them, such as the use of an unripe watermelon, or too rapid approach towards the poised politician for a Pineapple Inquiry.

There is also the danger that too rough a handling of your sex spatulas could accidentally knock the switch that converts them to metric from Imperial and as anyone who has been on the receiving end of a pair of metric sex spatulas when they were poised to receive the Imperial ones knows what a shock to the system it can be. Old Feebletrousers himself claims that it was such an experience that led to his fear of getting too close to the Strap-on Sisters, due to the time when he was approached by a scullery maid during the inter-war years wielding what he thought were a pair of old-fashioned six-inch sex spatulas which later turned out to be a pair of metric 12 cm spatulas captured from the German trenches during WWI. An experience I’m sure many of you would not like to see repeated during any modern day run-of-the-mill village hall orgy.

Post a Comment