Now, as any upstanding gentleman will no-doubt attest, getting one's hand on a nice firm pair of baps still warm from the cake shop manageress's ministrations is one of the delights of an early morning amble through Little Frigging's main street.
However, it is not the only reason to get one's self up and at full attention first thing in the morning. As you are no doubt aware, Little Frigging's own organ of record: The Little Frigging Daily Gleaner is published fresh every day, filled to the point of almost copious overflowing with the various doings, goings-on and shenanigans of the denizens of this fine village.
Therefore, there is always a bit of a rush first thing in the morning, once everyone has had a chance to get their hands on the cake shop manageress's baps, for us all to hie ourselves to the newsagent's ready to get the Gleaner's outpourings into our eager hands.
Usually, the Gleaner's editor: Foaming Lickspittle, has had his bevy of reporters: Sherry Ventilator – the sports correspondent - and Titty Exposure – news reporter - bent over their desks well into the late afternoon, until they produce something that will make every purchaser of the aforesaid organ stand up straight in wonder and admiration at what those two young lady reporters have revealed in their full and frank exposures.
To – what remains of – my mind there is no better way to start the day that a full appraisal of what those two young ladies have exposed in those pages and I'm sure that most denizens of this fair village feel themselves of much the same opinion.
So, make sure you get your hands on it first thing every morning.