Sunday, June 16, 2013

Trifling with the Affections

Of course, every fully-upstanding eroticician or perverteer knows of the erotic delights of the pudding from merely trifling with someone's affections right up to and including the Pineapple Inquiry.

It goes without saying however, that if you should wish to trifle with someone's affections you should make sure that the trifle itself spends sometime out of the fridge before applying it to one's partner’s (or partners') affections. As is well known the affections are very sensitive and it behoves any eroticician of the first rank to make sue that one's partners in the erotic enterprise, shenanigan or doings is fully aware of – and consents to – what is about to take place. Which also means you should always warm your spoon up first too, unless the aforesaid partner, or partners, is the sort that enjoys a cold spooning. This is something I think I can safely say many of us do indeed enjoy, especially on a warm summer's evening at the village hall weekend orgy.

Still, one should also be aware of the dangers of the overly-warm pudding too. For nothing cools the ardour more than the sudden unwarranted application of some over-heated custard to the gentleman's region. So any lady wishing to have custard with her spotted dick would be well-advised to make sure the custard is not too hot before dipping her ladle.

As for the treacle tart, it is only polite to make sure you have licked off all the treacle before she attempts to get dressed at the end of the proceedings as a overly-sticky nether garment can become rather uncomfortable, especially if one has to take the long way home due to a traffic jam of post-orgy wheelbarrows taking the somewhat overcome orgy-goers home at the end of their evening exertions.

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