Tuesday, July 30, 2013

The Use of the Watermelon in a Village Hall Orgy Context

Even so, people these days do not seem to be aware of just how much things have changed since the introduction of the watermelon to the village orgy. Back in the immediate post-war years, of course, the village orgy – like so many other things in British society – was still suffering from the deprivations of the war, including rationing and shortages.

Of course, the ingenuity of wartime orgy-goers had produced many erotic uses for tinned spam and powdered eggs, up to and including the ARP Early-Warning Rear-Entry Surprise that delighted many a war-time orgy-going lady while her husband or lover was at the front.

However, a common complain in the post-war years was the lack of bananas and other such exotica, up to and including the watermelon. The soldiers returning from foreign parts, of course, did bring back with them some very interesting foreign perversions, especially those utilising captured German sauerkraut and others such as the French Onions String-Out or even the Japanese Kimono Undertakings that could leave even a Samurai warrior with his weapon limp in his hand.

However, it was not until the mid-sixties that that now staple of the rural village hall orgy – the watermelon – made its way to these shores, something that we should all be grateful for as we prepare our shin-pads and snorkels and grasp the watermelon in readiness as we approach the post-mistress at our usual mid-week village hall orgies.

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