Thursday, August 8, 2013

Pirates and Perversions

Sometimes, hard as it may seem (and I know it does seem quite firm at the moment), there comes a time when the denizens of Little Frigging look for something beyond the usual village orgies and seek out something a bit more unusual.

Themed orgies have a long and distinguished history. For some reason, never adequately explained, people love to dress up in costumes they would not normally wear, and then – some time later – take them all off again.

Consequently, one of the annual favourites in the Little Frigging orgy calendar is Pirate Perversions Night, usually undertaken around this time every year, when the denizen of Little Frigging dress up as pirates, and engage in all manner of pirate and privateer-related perversions, deviations and erotic encounters up to and including splicing the mainbrace.

Of course, the naked and blindfolded walking the plank into a large vat of trifle – usually lightly sprinkled with a handful of pre-custarded assistant librarians is always very popular.

Other such pirate-based perversions, such as Fifty Men on a Cake Shop Manageress's Chest are also quite popular, as is spending your doubloons on a recumbent post mistress.

The treasure map where the treasure chest is marked with an X is always one perversion the Villagers are more than eager to partake in, especially when they have to fully explore the contours of the chest in order to locate the spot marked with the X.

Not only that, in the role-play corner of the Village Hall, the ladies of Little Frigging never seem to get enough of Long John Silver – usually of course played by our very own village Blacksmith Strom Thighhammer who has very much made the part his own.

Not to mention Yo-Ho-Ho and a Brace of Dairymaids, which, so long as the parrot always freely consents, is a magnificent way to round off the evening, especially after the last of the rum ration has been quaffed by Grand Uncle Stagnant.

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