Thursday, August 15, 2013

Pride and Perversion

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It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a large endowment must be in want of an eager village hall orgy partner.

Of course, this, Jane Austen's original opening to the first version of her Pride and Perversion novel was very different indeed to the version later published as Pride and Prejudice.

Back in those days, of course, the village hall orgy was a much more regimented affair, especially when the local militia attended. The more formal orgies of those times were very much demarcated by rigid class boundaries. Which, in the case of rural village orgies, meant erecting a large fence across the village hall to keep the rude peasantry away from their betters (at least officially, anyway). As contemporary sources do indicate – and recent historical ground-breaking research by the Historical Perversions Faculty at the University of Little Frigging has proved – there was far more intercourse between the various strata of society in those days. Much more than we have been led to believe by those who would wish us to see the class-structure of society as somehow impermeable and immutable.

For example, in this version of Pride and Perversion, Elizabeth is very much attracted to the local blacksmith. Especially when she sees him stripped for his annual bath in the village duckpond and is overawed by the size of his endowment.

All in all, then this original version of Pride and Perversion is pretty much a standard novelistic plot. That is until the blacksmith, Darcy, offers to take Elizabeth up the Northanger Abbey. Whereupon, she drops the watermelon in a fit of the vapours and then requires a large amount of Persuasion before she eventually consents to marry and thus live happily ever after with Darcy at his forge.

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